


The One AM Milkshake

by zackstrider



Series: Milkshakes [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 06:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6554776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zackstrider/pseuds/zackstrider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima literally only wanted a milkshake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One AM Milkshake

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by this tumblr post: http://screamingshark.tumblr.com/post/142765437929/sohelpmedun-please-just-read-the-whole-thing  
> 

It’s one in the morning and Tsukishima has the strongest urge for a milkshake that he’s ever had. He’s in the middle of studying, he doesn’t have a blender, the common room’s kitchen has been closed for at least four hours. Where the hell is he going to get a milkshake? He leans back in his old as shit dorm room chair and stretches, glancing out the window for only a second before doing a double take.

The McDicks down the street has twenty-four-hour drive thru. Tsukishima’s prayers have been answered. Tsukishima makes his way out of the dorm and into his car in what is probably record breaking time and is pulling into the drive-thru only minutes later.

“Hey holy shit, hello, you are at McDonald’s, I am Bokuto, and I am begging for your patience.” Is the first thing that greets Tsukishima’s ears when he reaches the ordering window.

Tsukishima looks around, searching for the other cars that are obviously keeping the mechanical voice occupied. There aren’t any. What.

“Okay,” Tsukishima says. “You can have it.”

Bokuto’s voice comes back; “Praise you.”

This is weird. Probably not the weirdest thing Tsukishima has seen – he did go to high school with Hinata – but still weird. Not an experience he’s had at a McDonalds before. Tsukishima sits patiently at the window for a minute until he hears Bokuto’s voice once again.

“Okay, please tell me your order.”

“A milkshake.”

“I’ll need a minute.” He replies.

Wait, no, he needs information. Why did Tsukishima say he only wanted a milkshake? There are flavours. There are sizes. This information is important.

“I need to tell you what kind!” Tsukishima yells, but Bokuto is already gone.

Bokuto is gone for several minutes. Tsukishima wonders if he even wants this milkshake anymore. Is it worth it? Will it ever be worth it? Tsukishima wonders.

When Bokuto returns, he sounds defeated. “We aren’t going to be able to do the milkshake. I do have many apple pies, though.” Then he whispers, “So many apple pies.”

“Are you okay.” Tsukishima doesn’t know why he asked. There was no reason for him to ask. But he is concerned.

“I am not okay,” Bokuto says back. “Would you please tell me your order so I can try to punch it in. I will be very slow, but I will get it.”

Does he even want something else?

Yeah, why the fuck not.

Tsukishima orders a chicken sandwich, which seems to confuse Bokuto. Several minutes are spent slowly repeating the order step by step to what he wants, watching the screen as Bokuto tries over and over.

Tsukishima guesses he gives up when he hears a deep exhale.

“Dude I lost my husband.”

Why is he telling Tsukishima this? “I’m sorry, man, I-“

“Please describe your chicken sandwich to me again so I can succeed at one thing.”

After several more minutes, Bokuto finally gets it, then says, “I really do feel bad about the milkshake situation. Can I sell you an apple pie?”

“Fine, I will buy an apple pie.”

“Apple pies are cheaper than milkshakes anyway.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Tsukishima hears a weird series of beeps – what the _fuck_ is going on – and when Bokuto’s voice comes back he is fucking _screaming_ into the headset.

“I found him! Thank God!”

“What? Who did you find?”

“My husband! He was watching me from behind the boxes!”

It’s been twenty-two minutes since Tsukishima left the comfort of his dorm room. The comfort of his old life. At this point he has ordered a chicken sandwich he does not want and an apple pie he does not want and he does not get his milkshake and he’s been here for _twenty-three fucking minutes._

“Can you give me my total,” Tsukishima says because he honestly does not know if he wants to understand Bokuto’s marriage or if he even could and he just wants to go.

“Your total is eight – _hold on_ my husband is here and he wants me to tell you he will sell you two apple pies at a discount.”

“What is the discount?”

“Two apple pies for only two dollars. You should take it.”

One apple pie is $1.19. This discount isn’t a big deal. Tsukishima is 99% certain they offer this discount anyway.

“Give me the extra pie.”

“He says thank you.”

“Tell him I said no problem.” _Why is Tsukishima talking to his husband like this w h y._

Tsukishima pulls around the bend to the first window and they are fucking making out in the window. The one he assumes is Bokuto with black hair with white tips has his fucking thumb out in a thumbs up like he is aware Tsukishima will be driving up to this.

 _I could just drive away._ For some reason, he doesn’t. Both these men look like they’re his age. Maybe slightly older. They unstick themselves from one another and Tsukishima hands him his card.

“Sorry about this. I haven’t worked at McDonald’s that long.” Bokuto says.

It’s obvious.

“It’s fine,” Tsukishima says.

To which Bokuto responds, “ _Fine_ just stands for _fucked-up, insecure, neurotic,_ and _error-prone_.”

His husband cackles and says, “I knew that when we started dating, way before I hired you. Get with it, man!”

“Kuroo, rude.”

Tsukishima has been here for thirty-seven minutes. He could be sleeping. He could be studying. He could be doing literally anything else but sitting in his car at 1:41 in the morning listening to a couple talk about how they met.

It’s a short story that only adds up to, “We met five years ago at a McDonald’s”.

Tsukishima gets his card back, finally, and drives up to the second window where there is a _whole separate fucking human being._

His name tag says Akaashi and Tsukishima pities him.

Akaashi hands him his back, leans out the window and says, “You get to drive away.” Then promptly shuts the window and sits on a stool, head in his hands.

Tsukishima drives back to campus, goes up to his dorm, eats his chicken sandwich and two apple pies and fucking goes to bed at 2:13 in the morning.

He wonders how many of his friends he can trick into going there and having the same existential experience he did.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I've contributed to the Haikyuu!! fandom and it's not even 100% my own. Hope u enjoyed because I certainly did.  
> You can yell at me on my anime blog ke-n-ma-a


End file.
